I happened to read a fantastic article written by global executive coach, Barbara Schwarck of Clear Intentions, Inc. It led me to think of the humanness and the people, (that's right, real live folks like you and me) from Toyota, General Motors, Chrysler, Firestone, Saturn, Pontiac, Hummer, Saab, Fiat - two decades ago - all the closed dealerships, manufactering posts at auto-related companies, and the list goes on and on. When these companies get in trouble, we tend to de-humanize them and refer to the 'brand', the 'company' or one or two company officials. The truth is there are alot of real and regular folks in the wings.
So, with permission, I am passing on some coaching to these folks via Ms. Schwarck, so they too can have some real feedback for current, past or future trying times.
Think of the last time you were stuck in traffic, had a financial challenge, or experienced difficulty in the job. Or, the last time your employer was headline in the news due to financial or mechanical or public safety problems. Maybe you tried to accomplish a goal and, despite your best efforts, just couldn't reach it. Perhaps you even knew exactly what to do, but for whatever reason lost track of time, broke commitments or simply self-sabotaged. Maybe the boss said 'no' and so we gave up. Here are excepts from Barbara's Who's in Charge Anyhow?
Sometimes, even knowing what to do to improve our situation makes no difference. For example, we know what to do to lose weight, quit smoking or become more organized. However, this knowledge rarely impacts our behavior. If knowing makes little or no difference, what does impact change? How can we get a grip, improve our experience and achieve success, personally as well as professionally? How can we be in charge of our lives?
The answer to this complicated question is deeply buried inside our brain, and it doesn't make much difference for us to know this. Even the most interesting and enlightening of understandings about our brain and how it drives us seem to beg the question, "So, now what?" We care most most poignantly about our ability to direct ourselves in ways that leave us feeling and truly being powerful. Here are a few other considerations and activities that can assist you in getting yourself back into the driver's seat:
- Accept your humanness. Getting triggered/stuck is a natural part of the human experience. The real trick is not to avoid being triggered, but to get "untriggered".
- Forgive yourself. Judging yourself prolongs the process. Take a look inside to see what you are not accepting about yourself, and let it go.
- Love yourself no matter how triggered/stuck you are. Would you throw an upset child in front of a bus? I bet not. Consider yourself a grown child. Be kind, take a break and see what shows up.
- Distract yourself. Do something else. Go to the gym or the movies. Get your mind off the present situation. When we are upset, we are unlikely to be effective.
- Just keep moving forward. Our feelings very often "lie" to us about what's really real. We can both honor our feelings as feelings, and not make them most important.
- Develop a plan for how to deal with these sorts of situations in the future. They will come up again, and it can be near to impossible to plan a course of action after you are already triggered.
I know how easy it is to get stuck, and how difficult it can seem to get yourself "unstuck." I recommend being still, taking a deep breath and reminding yourself of this… you are a beautiful and powerful being, and this too shall pass.
Well, there you have it. I will send this note to the Chairman of Toyota and be sure he distro's it out to his team today. Here's to the saefty of all drivers and the wellness of those in the drivers seat.
Drive Your Bargain,